12 Tips to Create a Peaceful, Passionate Life
Updated: Jan 22, 2018
“Get out of your head and get into your heart. Think less, feel more.” ~Osho
Osho’s game was to get people out of their heads. He wasn’t focused on world peace; he was intent on self-peace.
How do you get out of your head? How do you get more present?
For most of my life, I was stuck in my head. “Stuckness” was my primary experience. I always wanted to be somewhere else, someone else. After years of quietly suffering and pretending to be happy, I came to understand that my stuckness was caused by numbness—physical, emotional, and spiritual.
Physically: I have been “out of my body” for 99.999% of my life—unless you’re talking about the heaviness on my chest, lump in my throat, and raciness in my head. I was constantly experiencing back pains and a general heaviness in my body.
Also, I felt inadequate and insecure in most of my intimate relationships.
Emotionally: I never felt good enough to speak my truths and share how I really felt. I blamed myself for feeling inadequate. The constant “trying to be someone” caused me to keep up multiple appearances and maintain many public versions of myself.
Spirituality: Because of all the lying, I didn’t trust myself. I felt like I betrayed myself and I felt guilty, thinking, I really am not good enough. When I was a child, in Israel, I was afraid of being punished by God. Later, in America, I was afraid of being punished by society. I wanted your approval so badly.
One day, I ran away.
I felt so scared and lost. I told my business partner that I would be back after the weekend, and my girlfriend that I was going to go set us up. I just wanted to get healthy and experience some peace in my life.
It wasn’t overnight, but eventually I stopped looking for myself. I found it by sitting in stillness and connecting with my feelings.
I paid attention to the patterns around when I disappeared from the present moment and more importantly, what would bring me back. I learned to cultivate presence, compassion, and courage—enough to eventually return and format my life around what I love: sharing presence.
Here are 12 reminders and suggestions that can help you get out of your head and cultivate passion and presence:
1. Remember that your thoughts and feelings are powerful.
Everything in your life is a response to your feelings. How you feel about yourself is how you shape your reality.
2. Stop trying to be somebody and start opening up.
Stop looking so desperately for answers and drop your need to know everything. Give yourself permission to explore and uncover what’s fun for you and what you really love. Stop mimicking other people and pretending to please them, and start opening yourself up to find what you love.
3. Create something new.
Most people are scared of trying and failing because we are told we are supposed to fit in to existing stories created for power and control. Use your imagination to create something new that excites you.
4. Be a model of truth and great possibilities.
Make it your mission to be a model of positive, fun, loving possibilities. The shortest way to get there is to express your deepest truths. When you serve as a model for speaking your truth, you let others know it’s okay for them to do the same.
5. Encounter your deeper story.
Everyone has a deeper story, something that they fantasize about doing if they could. What’s your deeper story? What do yearn and long for? Hint: You already know what it is; you just lack the courage to acknowledge it because you don’t think you’re good enough.
6. Experience your longing.
It’s a big leap to go from dreaming to realizing. Take a step to act out your longing and experience its unfolding. If you let them, your feelings will lead the way.
7. Recognize when and how you disappear from the present moment.
Know your insecurities and pay attention to your triggers so you can bring yourself back to the present before hurting someone else. It’s your job to maintain your positive space.
8. Know what brings you back.
What engenders a feeling of belonging and connection in your life? What stops the obsessive thought looping? Build reference points. That’s how you can always find your way back home.
9. Recognize that freedom is knowing what you love and letting it embrace you.
You already know enough. Stop looking for guidance and start formatting your life around experiencing what you love. Seek the experience and it will find you.
10. Remember that your gift is how you handle your insecurities.
When you do what you love, you’ll act on instinct, without having to put too much thought into the knowledge you don’t yet have. But that thing you love to do—that’s not your only gift. Your other gift is how you handle your insecurities and feelings of inadequacy, when you do get caught up in your head. This is what shapes your life and sense of belonging.
11. Take intentional actions.
When you set intentions and act on them, you create a natural flow. Directing that flow is how you shape your reality.
12. Consistently ask yourself: What is my relationship?
Everything is relationship to everything else. What is your relationship to yourself? You reality emanates from how you feel about yourself.